Welcome to this article about GRIEF and LOSS.
LOSS can come in many forms
Some common types of loss are:
*Loss of a relationship (with partner/family/family member/another important person) *Financial loss/job loss. *Life-changing illness or injury (yourself or loved one). *Death.
THE WORST KIND OF GRIEF IS YOURS: Loss and grief hurts and nothing takes away from your right to feel the loss and grieve.
GRIEF IS HARD WORK: It requires more energy to work through than most people expect.
YOUR GRIEF WILL TAKE LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE THINK: How long will grief last? the grieving process can't be controlled. It can't be controlled in how long it takes. It is finished when it is finished.The way out of grief is through it. We need to find the courage to go through this experience of grief, which is a major key to recovery.
THERE MAY BE “SECONDARY LOSSES” TO DEAL WITH: Loss may cause many other changes in your life, such as: Your finances/income may change as a result of your loss, from losing your partner, a life changing illness or injury or losing your job for example, these can all impact your finances. Alteration of relationships may happen with other people. Important relationships may change because of a life changing illness/disability/losing a significant person. Some relationships with others may change whereby they become different or you become estranged from someone because of your loss. Our support system of family and friends can be altered by a loss or bereavement. When emotions are running high it can bring out the best and also the worst in our families and friends. You may find that the most unlikely people will step up and be supportive. You may also find that the people you thought you were closest to grow distant.
There may be many other losses such as loss of your identity which can have a significant impact on your grief. These can be harder to identify and talk about than the loss of concrete things. These can include the loss of your self-confidence or the loss of your relationship identity, as you may no longer feel that you are a husband/wife/ parent/sibling/friend or carer. In losing this relationship identity, you may feel that you no longer have a purpose or role or you may struggle to define your new identity.
Being aware of what secondary grief is and what it can relate to allows you to be prepared. By taking this first step and acknowledging your secondary grief, you can acknowledge that it is having an impact on you.
GRIEF COMES AND GOES: Just when you think we are getting over it, you may experience another devastating setback. This is the way grief works itself out and trust that the process, difficult as it is, is helping you work towards some kind of resolution.
EFFECTIVE GRIEF WORK IS NOT DONE ALONE: Try to find a support group, counsellor, grief companion who can help. Or talk to someone who has been through a similar experience. Grief is about coping with the loss and often in a supportive relationship relief can be found.
It is important to remember that whatever your loss, it is a loss. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, you need to listen to yourself and take the time and the space to grieve.